Journal #1
You wake up one morning and realize your three days late. The butterflies begin to flutter in your stomach; you think to yourself could I be pregnant! You wonder if you should take a test or just wait a few days, out of anxiety you decide to take the test. The test comes back positive; you feel that pregnancy glow as your journey to motherhood begins.
You don’t realize how much an unborn child could have such a huge impact on your life. You begin to change emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’s the first ultrasound appointment to confirm due dates and the lady starts doing all the measurements. Then comes the sound of a galloping horse, you hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. From here on out your baby will continue to grow each week. It won’t be long, you will feel the little precious flutters, then the slight kicks and hiccups, and then it’s those throwing punches in the ribcage and summersaults. These are the feelings that you will cherish for a lifetime. Your baby will be here before you know it.
Before you know it, is right! I was saying that in my youngest daughters and son’s case. When I found out in February, I was pregnant again the doctor knew I wouldn’t make it full term. He was thinking right around 36 weeks, but to come to our surprise Alexander wanted to come and play at 33 weeks. This had to be the scariest time in my life. All I could keep thinking was is my baby going to make it; his lungs aren’t even developed yet. My husband and I drove to the hospital, to get the terrifying news that I would be transported by ambulance to another hospital. I couldn’t deliver there; they didn’t have the equipment to provide for my son since he would be premature. Alex would have to be monitored in the neonatal intensive care unit. I began to cry and think why me?
The fear of having a child in the NICU is extremely stressful. You are always wondering and uncertain, for the fact something could change in...