Dig deep they said. Dig deep into your heart and you will find out what you are supposed to be doing. But no one mentioned fear, or insecurity or jealousy which can break apart the closest of friends and give you a one too many sleepless nights. The thinking for days, the hovering between this choice and that , never quite deciding which, but finally choosing the absolute wrong one. The torment you give yourself over that.
Me? Well, I’ve had a sort of inkling about where I was supposed to be in the world, my special place if you will. Maybe sitting in front of the television with a book on your lap, and a cup of coffee on the coffee table is not exactly a person’s special place but well, it was a start.
Something else nobody ever warns you about, is just how hard being a 14 year old can be. After all, isn’t that what grownups are supposed to do? Guide you, teach you, be the person who steers you the right way when you incessantly steer towards the wrong? That just shows you how grownups are just a bunch of lazy people who know what the word ‘stock market’ means and can talk to any length about politics. (About which by the way I know absolutely nothing, nor do I have the slightest inclination to.)
The 14th year of my life is alternatively the best and possibly the worst. Worst because a couple of friends had the nerve to backstab me and one well loved friends’ dad actually told me he ‘I hate you very much, stay away from my family.’ By email too, imagine. That takes the cake on the worst-o-meter. And it happens to be another example on how grownups are so full of themselves, they hardly have any space for brains left in their middleaged bodies. Sounds harsh, I know,but I have lost my faith in adults too much and too long for it to be won back again. Not every grownup is a psychopath though. There are the good ones of course: the really nice biology teacher whom you love to bits, the way cool editors of Sparknotes, and the coolest and sassiest aunts on...