Write a story that is set in a frightening place. Describe an event that happens to the main character in your story.
Choose your words carefully to make the reader share the character's fear.
Try to show the emotions and feelings of your character.
"Mary Ann. You keep on driving until I tell you to stop." Said the woman with the red fairy hair.
"Ah……." I whined "Who are you?"
This all began when I first came to Hawaii. That night was neither stormy nor dark; it wasn't particularly cold. The scenery wasn't haunted house instead it was a pretty good looking Ferrari car in Hawaii. It all started two days ago when I decided to buy a car. Everyone stayed away from that car. I have never known why until a friend told me "it is believed to be haunted with ghosts and spirits of murders." At first I didn't mind that ghost thing but when I saw that ugly woman in my back seat I wasn't so sure anymore. I knew that day that I bought a real big in a poke. The seller made me pay over the odds for that car.
I was in a tight corner. I was scared to stir things up so I kept quite until……….
I was terrified when I came to a stop and the brakes didn't work.
I panicked and started screaming
"OH GOD, OH GOD???!!!!!!!!!" "NO BRAKES NO BRAKES"
I closed my eyes trying to relax waiting for the pile up when suddenly……
Suddenly I felt a hand around my waist holding me tight.
In next to no time I opened my eyes to find myself on the ground between the bushes and that my Ferrari was fighting the fire.
I don't know how I am alive right now and how did I jump out of my car. Maybe my internal mind worked and made me jump or that woman helped me to jump. I don't know. All I know is that I survived to tell the tale because of whom and how you never know.
CONTENT AND AUDIENCE 5/7
TEXT STRUCTURE 5/5
SENTENCE STRUCTURE 3/5