Bound by Blood
My heart aches deep as the abrasive and callused words are repeated in my mind. They feel like arrows piercing in my heart one by one. And as each arrow enters my heart, the skin rips open to let blood pour out like a quick stream running down a mountain. The loss of blood weakens my body. So I fall on my knees, not capable of standing up anymore and see my reflection on the broken mirror lying on the floor.
Who do I see? Someone who is not wanted because she is not superior compared to the others. She is someone who is an abandoned soul, now lost searching for her place in her own home.
Her black hair falls down her face in waves to show her broadened cheeks and her fringe hangs over her face as a curtain to hide her dark, deep, black, emotionless eyes. They are dried up and have black marks appearing beneath due to from a long sleepless night. She couldn’t fall asleep as there were tears flowing out, stinging her eyes to become puffy and red.
There is a sudden urge inside me to rip her hair, she doesn’t deserve to live. She needs doses of pain to understand what she is making me go through. I hate her. I hate whom I see in the reflection. I hate myself. Without further a due I grab my hair and pull. The pain sears through me. It feels like electric shocks are passing from the back of my skull towards the forehead. I want to scream; every part of me is dying to scream to my guardians to accept me! Why am I different? Why? Answer me! How much further do you want me to try? Am I really such a ghastly daughter? Am I? Then maybe I don’t deserve to live? Maybe…
I am sick of hearing I am not good enough, that I was a mistake, that I am not wanted, that I will never be what you want me to be. How else am I supposed to please you? Maybe you are right…maybe I am not doing enough. So you should slap me more. You should hurt me more; you should beat me to death…if only that was possible. But since you are not here to do that I will fulfil...