To the boy I’ll always love,
It’s been a while since we last talked. It’s been two months now, to be exact. But who’s counting, right? I’m not sure why I’m writing you this letter when I know you’ll never actually read it but I guess I just want closure, you know? And I feel like this is it.
I miss you, that’s the first thing I need you to know. All those memories we made, they mean everything to me and it cuts vein-deep to know we’ll never make more of them… they had to mean something to you too, right? I’m not going crazy? You actually liked having me around, right? I don’t even know what to believe anymore, honestly.
But what I do know is that I miss you.
How we first started talking in Algebra class and how we’d get in trouble because we were talking too much. The time when I stayed for football practice and the smell of fresh cut grass that was in the air when you hugged me for the first time. Or how we sat together and laughed for what seemed like forever during lunch on the last week of school. One of my favorite memories is Valentine’s Day. You remember that day? God, how could you possibly forget? I still have everything you gave me in my room, you know? I can’t even begin to process the thought of throwing it all away.
Everyone tells me that I should just forget you. So many more ask me why it is I still bother to give you the time of day when all you do is hurt me, and I always tell them that I don’t know. Isn’t that when you know you’re in love? When you don’t know why it’s so hard to forget them, but it just is? God, but how can I love you when we never even dated? I just can’t comprehend that…
I have good days and bad days when it comes to thinking of you. Somedays I smile and think of the way you’d come to school with your new ridiculous haircuts, other days I can’t help but cry in the shower so my family won’t know how broken you left me that summer day.
Life without you… it actually isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. That...