Chapter Five
a. Describe Dinah and Clyde’s stories and discuss the notion of “assumption”.
Dinah’s story is she assumed Clyde did something that triggers her. She feels disrespected and see herself as a victim and see Clyde as villain. Clyde’s story is he was trying to help Clyde out, but she thought he was trying to show her up. The notion of “assumption” is two parties in a conflict lack of communication, and both side assume the other side is villain.
b. Define “motive” and “impact”
Motive is why people do such things, it is the reason behind someone’s words and actions. Impact is the words someone used or actions that taken in the place.
c. Explain the Assumption Iceberg and how events impact this.
Think of the events as the tip of an iceberg, visible to both people. Thoughts and feelings (motive and impact) lie beneath the surface. We know our own, but can only guess the other person’s. We assume we know what the other person was thinking or feeling and weave those assumptions into our stories. We treat our assumptions as “truth,” though we see only part of the picture.
d. Explain how important it is for people to “tell their story”.
Generally, people who are angry need time and space — a chance to vent, tell their story, and blow off steam. You could view this as letting the air out of a balloon. We also can defuse a person’s emotion by demonstrating understanding. Although we may be more comfortable focusing on facts, we won’t get very far until we have stabilized emotion.
e. How does it help to ask about intentions?
If our intentions have been asked, we can think the conflict more behind our action. Tell the other person how events impacted us and ask them how they were impacted by events. This situation might change if either person started to shift from judgment to curiosity.
Opinion
a. How might you clarify your motives and intentions?
To clarify my motives and intentions, I think the first thing I will do is to stop make...