September 13th, 2013
What am I supposed to do?
My heart is racing. What’s this sudden rush? Am I sweating? No, I can’t be. Its seventy-seven degrees in my house. I feel cold. Yeah, that’s it. That must be it, but how can I be cold and hot at the same time? I begin doubting everything I know. What is the cold? What is the warmth? These are basic things that I thought I understood, but I find myself in doubt.
I sit back and close my eyes, just to rest for a moment. Here it comes again, what it is exactly I’m not sure. I cannot even begin to explain. But I can tell you it started spreading. It began crawling up my legs. Then it took a hold of my diaphragm. It grabbed on tight and didn’t let go. In fact it squeezed down even tighter. I thought that’s where it would end. I was wrong. It kept going. I felt the pressure on my chest. Not a physical pressure. I know that feeling. This wasn’t the 245 lbs. that I could bench press so easily in the gym. No, no this was something much more heavy.
It was a heavy pressure, but it moved so quickly. It flopped like a butterfly, but then stung like a bee. And you can bet I felt its sting. It made my stomach synch, and then rushed to my brain. I look around me. I’m not sure what it is I’m looking for, but I know it’s the answer. A single answer? No, there was more than one question. There were a thousand questions. A thousand questions and a thousand voices. A thousand voices started whispering .
Well that’s what they started as. I thought that maybe it was my cousin on the computer that I could hear in the background. It wasn’t him though. So I look to the TV, but that wasn’t it either. So I look around the room. Left to right, and back again. I’m mistaken for a second, I could have sworn that the walls were talking. That couldn’t be it though, could it? I must really be going crazy if they are. I followed the whispers until I could pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. A strip of...