Emotional maturity does not necessarily come with age, but with awareness and understanding borne out of individual perception and cognitive experience. In an individual it develops to the extent he organizes his consciousness, which is directly affected by the extent of his ability to deal with anger, his capabilities of facing guilt, coping with pain and hurt, and his ability to forgive.
Is anger or hatred ever justified? I think that “righteous anger” is in the same category as “righteous cancer”. They are both absurd concepts. The basic problem is that emotions like anger and hatred are based on projections and exaggerations, not on objectivity or wisdom. The Dalai Lama stated that, “When reason ends, anger begins”. This is not to say that one should never take action against aggression or injustice, but rather develop an inner calmness and insight to deal with these situations in an appropriate way. When faced with a disagreement, sound use of logic and reason will negate any reason for anger and violence. It’s when there is a lack of logic or reason behind the argument that anger and violence will enter into it. Completely eliminating these emotions from our mind would be a lengthy psychological process requiring study, reflection, and honest observation of one’s own mind; but it is an entirely feasible concept. Carefully reviewing incidents and circumstances that caused anger, without focussing on the anger itself, will give insight into what anger is and what happens to oneself when feeling angry. This has the advantage that one is not directly exposed to the actual situation, and can review it much more objectively. Reflecting on, and being aware of what triggers our anger will also give us the opportunity to plan in advance how we will respond to the situation that caused us anger, should it ever reoccur. Of all the steps to emotional maturity, controlling our anger may be the most difficult for some, as it is the behaviours and temperaments that were...