Disconnected
In the Mind of a Paranoid Schizophrenic
Ghosts
Sometime I can feel the ghost present in my sleep. I can feel a ghost touching me, caressing my body as I lay asleep. I awake from passionate fantasies that appear real to me. Last Friday I had a wet dream out of scene from a book I had read. He was there touching me as I sleep. I began to feel his presence from his warm body. I wanted to be a part of this fantasy. Sometimes the dream encounters multiple sex partners and I awake with my legs spread apart and my hand on my private parts where I was the ghost actually touching my body parts. I frantically awake trying to reach the ghost and can see him there in bed next to me and when I am fully conscious it is becomes a ghost from my imagination. I can hear foot steps running through the house as if the house is hunted. The ghost is my imagination.
Fragments of my Imagination I have memories of disconnected thoughts about my accomplishments. I recall being in the military in Viet Num and in the Middle East. The image I vision is like J I Jane movie. I helped save American soldiers in the war. I was on secret mission in the Middle East in 1986 1987 where both America and Iraq agreed to a truce. I was in Viet Num as a kid. My memories come and fade out as if it a dream.
A Star Athlete Sometimes my memories a vague where I can pretend being a star athlete in the Olympics. My cousin introduced me to ice skating. She won many awards in ice skating. I recall winning awards in figure skating in the Olympics as a kid. I also did so in gymnastics and volley ball. I almost lost my life on the balancing beam in gymnastics. I went back as a star athlete year after year with the memory I was a star athlete before. My delusions are so obscure I recall playing basketball in high school and college, being a pro tennis player since college team without ever practicing or playing the sport. I recall dancing in dance squads doing street dance in...