Healing the Sexually Abused
Kathy Hayduk
1. Three-part Question: Write brief explanations of how sexual abuse affects the wounded one’s: a) relationships with others and with God; b) attitude toward life; c) self-concept.
a) Deep down has mistrust of others and God. Since trust has been shattered, it seems that authority no longer offers sanctuary, hope or reliable direction. Gravitates toward those who reflect the same crippled self-esteem because of previous rejections by people from whom they are seeking help, friendship and wholeness. Indulges in forms of self-protection, excessive weight gain, poor hygiene, obnoxious busy-ness (PO) behavior.
b) I’m ok. I can take care of myself.
c) Sees self as a nobody, worthless, unlovable, disrespected. Overwhelmed by guilt, angrer and blames themselves for abuse received. Something’s wrong with me.
2. Three-part Question: In what ways do fear, guilt and anger affect those sexually abused?
Fear – Fear of being exposed and violated again. Mistrust of even good intentions from those trying to help.
Guilt – That it’s their fault for it happening – blames self and is angry that they did not tell or that they did tell and was blamed for what happened, which causes the big Shame to take over. From the family break up and accusations by the abuser.
Anger – Angry at Mom, Dad, God for not protecting them. Angry at the Abuser for hurting them.
3. What is the motivation behind promiscuity in those sexually abused?
Signals of need for affection are misinterpreted. Has no concept of secondary virginity, so continues to defile self. Needs to punish themselves, others. Believes that her only worth is in sex. Responds to non-threatening persons who promise to care. Since trust in others is gone, feels in control of their own body and can decide for themselves if they want to have sex or not. Have to depend on themselves. Former friends cannot relate to what has happened to them and does...