To: Benjamin Reignier
From: Kristi Hedin
Re: Review of “You’re a Comm major? What are you going to do with that?”
The introduction paragraph was written in a way that defines communication and narrows it down to the author’s interested in communication, media studies and media production. This assisted the author in being more distinct when discussing the path of communications, which has the tendency to be very broad. The author noted internships and assistant positions in organizations such as MTV, it would be interesting to here more about those. It could add to the explanation of choosing production as a career path. The author also noted, “I will submit my screenplay (writing) portfolio to a production company in hopes of becoming a staff writer”. Further detail could be added to this and explain his aspirations and struggles in the writing of production. Also there could be a paragraph to add clarity on what positions the author is most interested in, even if there are many it could be useful to add that personal information (writing, producing, directing, assisting etc.) There are some unnecessary wordy sentences throughout the essay, such as “Now, I do not wish to personally perform a tap dance or sing an opera, but I do hope to assist in pushing a production project forward in order to create new art in the form of entertainment”. This sentence could be clearer by stating how the author desires to push a production project forward and the area of production that wishes to pursue, such as a comedic film, a TV series, a commercial, a ballet etc. The concluding paragraph did a good job of polishing the choice of media production. However the statement, “Many times, people are led to think that these above goals are overly ambitious due to the competitive nature of Hollywood,” might be unnecessary. There may be no reason to add doubt to the chosen career path if it is the one picked, a statement of confidence could be better...