Rules of the Mess. The following are some time-honored rules of the mess.
These can be modified or expanded depending on local custom.
a. Thou shall be punctual, heavy fines will be levied on all late arrivals.
b. Thou shall not wear an ill-fitting, ill-prepared, or discolored uniform.
c. Thou shall not wear clip on ties.
d. The sounding of “Chimes” is the last opportunity to make thy head call until thy meal is completed.
e. Thou shall not murder the Queen’s English.
f. Thou shall not use foul language, speak smut tingly, or use loud,obtrusive remarks in any language.
g. Thou shall not pick thy nose, ears, or buttocks.
h. Thou shall not fluctuate, lest thou be severely punished.
i. Thou shall not chew gum.
j. Thou shall not bring cocktails or other tobacco products in the dining area.
k. Thou shall sit in thy assigned seat.
l. Thou shall not rap on glassware for attention.
m. Thou shall not rearrange the table settings.
n. Thou shall greet the guest of honor and make every effort to greet all members of the Mess at some point during the evening.
o. Women, politics, shop, money, and religions shall not be discussed at the Mess. The Commander in Chief’s policies will not be discussed.
p. Thou shall not haggle over thy date of rank.
q. Thou shall not refuse any course, nor shall you ask for seconds, thy meal shall be consumed as served, and in a manner becoming a lady or gentlemen.
r. Thou shall not throw food or disgrace the Mess with unruly conduct.
s. Thy elbows will remain from the table.
t. Thou shall not turn glasses upside down or refuse any beverage. Members shall not be required to consume alcohol, however all glasses will be filled.
u. Wine will be passed from right to left.
v. Thou shall not “bottom up” glasses for every toast, only for the final “Toast to the Corps.”
w. Exclusive of actual emergencies, no member shall leave the dining area until thy head table has exited.
x. Thy President and the Vice President shall be the...