Interviewer / Interviewee
Costume: Silk, Linen Robe with Devil Horns to wear.
Accent: Gay, Queer Secretary Tone of voice. (American, or English base)
Props: Clip Board
Ah hello! It’s nice to see you all here. Now, as the more perceptive of you probably realized by now, this is hell. And I am the devil. Good evening. But you can call me Toby, if you like. We try to keep things informal in here, as well as infernal. That’s just a little joke of mine. I tell it every time during assembly. Now, you’re all here for… (*pause* look at clipboard) … Eternity! Ooh, which I hardly need to tell you is a heck of a long time, um so you’ll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for now I’m going to have to split you up into groups. Will you stop screaming! Thank you. Now, murderers? Murderers over here, please. Thank you. Looters and Prostitutes over here. Thieves, if you could join them, and lawyers, you’re in that lot too. Rapists, if you could step forward?* My god there is a lot of you! Uh could I split you up into men and women please. Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine in the corner. *Em*..* The French, are you here? *If you could just like to come down here with the Germans.* I’m sure you’ll have plenty to talk about. Okay, atheists? Atheists over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits. Never mind. *And finally, terrorists.* Terrorist? Ah yes I’m sorry you were in fact screwed. If you would come down here, that would be really fine, thank you. Okay! Right, are there any questions? Yes. No, I’m afraid we don’t have any toilets. So if you did not go before you came, then I’m afraid you’re not going to enjoy yourself very much, but then I believe that is the idea. Okay. Well, it’s over to you,...