Now, in the last note that I wrote, I have mentioned the 'someone'.. You see, I don't really have the right or the privilege to call him 'my' someone since I DO NOT OWN HIM!!! Why such thing on Caps? Because that damn thing is such a f*ck, oh, I mean a fact that needs to be pointed out, emphasized and be really tattooed in the mind of not only the readers of this article but especially to my assuming and hopelessly romantic mind..
Ok.. Enough with that..
Hopefully, he won't get the slightest idea that the 'he' which he might be reading at this very moment pertains to himself.. I just wish that I have the guts to tell him right now.. If only I'd have a slight fraction of confidence added to my present esteem, I could have named him already.. But, I can't.. Uhm, maybe I can.. But I just don't wanna do it.. Self confidence? Oh, I have a lot of that.. So if one of the nominees of the cause of my dilemma right now is self-confidence, then, it deserves an 'X' on it..
Then, it's not a self-confidence issue which is the cause of my dilemma.. What is it then? What is the purpose of writing this note? What is the dilemma in the first place?
I am really having this feeling that I sound like talking to myself.. What do you call that again, a monologue? Yeah right, a monologue..
I am having a monologue right now.. There's no one to answer me and I should answer all the questions that I throw to myself.. Uhm, if so, then I'd be throwing them to myself? Uh, ok.. If that's just how it goes.. I give the effort and I still do the effort to please myself and in the end, I'd get tired.. Of course! I would eventually get tired..
If you can observe, we will really have this moment in our life when we will be having our own monologues.. I am not talking about the kind of self-sessions where you'd get to reflect on what you have been doing lately or the moments where you just stare at the dark-gray sky and ask yourself whether it will rain or not.....