Rituals, Rules, and Myths in the Family of Origin
Rituals:
1. A week before Fourth of July my father took us up to Victorville so we could buy the best and most expensive firecrackers for the fourth of July.
2. Early Sunday morning we drove up to Victorville to visit my oldest sister in foster care
3. Every Christmas adults took us out to see the Christmas parade in the neighborhood.
4. When father came home from work one of the kids had to get him a beer as he sat down
a. It was the girls job to take care of my father
b. My father always mentioned how he use to take care of both of his parents
c. The ritual hasn’t changed I still live with my father and bring him his beer when he asks for it.
5. From Thursday to Sunday fathers friends came over to drink and party.
6. Kids remained inside and did not bother the adults while they drank.
a. This ritual made it clear who was in charge and who really had a say in the family
b. It really didn’t relate to any cultural or ethnic background.
c. As we got older less and less people started coming over.
7. Fridays and Saturdays the kids were dropped off at “City Walk”.
8. No one ate after six.
a. There was no gender role in this ritual everyone had to do it.
b. It was just something we all did
c. As we got older it just didn’t matter anymore
Rules
1. Females don’t wear makeup it is for whores.
2. We couldn’t speak about our biological mother
3. No going into my father’s room.
Myth:
1. When we were younger my father always said “para que quieren ropa nueve si dios no quiere ropa quiere el alma” meaning ‘what do you want new clothes for if god doesn’t want close he wants your soul’. I don’t think this had to do with any cultural values, or gender roles. I think it was more of my father didn’t want to spend money. Also I like to believe he was trying to teach us that material things didn’t matter it was more of moral values