Satire

Satire

Cars are a fantastic invention. They make our first-world lives even more carefree by
getting us from place to place quickly while eradicating the need for legs altogether. Instead of
walking that two blocks to spend seventeen dollars at KFC, why not drive there? You get there
faster and can start eating sooner; it is a lot easier to shove those Double Down sandwiches down
your throat behind the wheel of your Suburban than while hobbling down the sidewalk. There is
no doubt that the benefits of driving from place to place are exponentially great. However, all
that driving takes an awful lot of fuel, and everyone knows that fuel for cars isn’t the most
plentiful (or cheapest!) of resources.
The gasoline that keeps your vehicle running smoothly is supplied from petroleum, also
known as crude oil that is pumped out of the ground. This crude oil, in turn, is created by the
transformation of long-dead plant and marine animal fossils. These fossils are under immense
pressure and heat for hundreds of thousands of years, and the result is a dark and waxy substance
known as kerogen. These kerogen molecules then eventually break down into petroleum or
natural gas and are pumped into your gas tank. That’s right: you are cruising around town with
no aim or purpose, and your car is running off of a limited supply of dead fish souls. An
expensive limited supply of dead fish souls.
Flip the script. Remember that guy you stepped over on your way into the office this
morning? Remember the faint smell of urine that lightly brushed over your nostrils as you
carefully avoided disturbing his peaceful slumber, as to avoid his aimless requests for spare
change? That man is part of an incredibly high population of homeless citizens in America; the
amount of homeless is roughly estimated to be between 2.3 million and 3.5 million people.
That’s approximately 1 in 10 people living without a home. That’s approximately 1 in 10 people
living on the streets every night...

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