selfie speech

selfie speech

I have self-esteem issues not because i have an Indian mother that keeps comparing me too EENA MEENA DIKA…!!! BUT because of YOU yes YOU! You self obsessed human beings who have taken over my timeline with your god-damn Selfies featuring a thousand filters, that have the power of transforming you into VOLDERMORT (because it obviously makes your nose disappear, duh)

I remember when selfies were just called “No one else wants to take my picture” but now more or less this is the only form of photography that helps me look like BEYONCE! Not even a DSLR can help me out here LOL!!

There are different kinds of selfies people upload on social media some are:
morning selfie, sleeping selfie, eating selfie, crying selfie, good hair day selfie, bad hair day selfie, gym selfie, new friend selfie, lazy day selfie.

According to me, a washroom selfie is like an immature version of a Mukesh Bhatt film staring Emran Hashmi and a fresh-faced actress who wants to start off her career with a “bang”- pun intended. i mean after you click your “glorious” washroom selfie, you may want to give back mother nature by sitting on the toilet seat for hours or minutes depending upon whether you are constipated or suffering from loose motion. but honestly you’re just accelerating the person’s imagination who is starring at your selfie. He/she might be picturing you dancing to beyonce (or any other artist in the shower)…and lord behold, if you get a chance to meet the person in real life, you’ll have to carry a toilet with you my friend because TBH, you only look attractive when you’re standing next to a toilet.

i usually see people clicking duckface selfie but the fun fact about the duckface selfie is that we human beings are converted from monkeys and not duck’s so the next time you pout and click a selfie i should rather clip your lips so that when you click a selfie you dont have to waste your energy to make a duck face!!

oh yeah! how can i forget about the tagline’s and...

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