My neighbour is a really difficult chap. There are no major problems as such. I am ok. He’s ok. Same soil ke phool etc. But it’s his dogs that drive me crazy. I have nothing against kuttas — provided they are well-trained, well-behaved and don’t crap on my doorstep. Even I have kuttas. But they aren’t anything like my neighbour’s. I have control over mine, and if they ever mess up my neighbour’s space, I take full responsibility... and clean up after them. It’s the right neighbourly thing to do... right?
We have had touch-andgo incidents in the past, and exchanged angry words over this issue. But this time my neighbour’s kuttas have gone a bit too far. They tore into my home and destroyed everything in sight. Worse, they caught my own dogs (and me!) napping. Taking full and total advantage of the situation, they created havoc in our lives and left crucial evidence behind — a huge mass of dog poop. This was just too much. I called up my neighbour to protest, but he hung up on me, the bloody so-and-so! I called again... and again. But he refused to answer. Finally, in sheer frustration, I called a common friend to complain about the outrage. He was good enough to offer immediate intervention. But that’s because he is a Gora and often borrows my neighbour’s car when his own conks out. Still, i thought it was pretty sweet of him to take up this ugly matter with that crazy man.
Two hours later, the Gora called to say he’d had a word with the kuttawallah, who told him it was not his kuttas that had entered my home in the first place! I was stunned, shocked and enraged. “What the hell does he mean?” i demanded angrily. “Of course, those were his dogs... i know their paw prints... why, even their poop is pretty distinct given the strange diet they’re on.” The Gora promised to get back. I waited... and waited. Finally, he called to say, “Proof. He wants evidence. Can you prove the damage was done by his dogs and not your own?” I nearly fainted. “Are you nuts?...