How The Matrix Taught Me A Valuable Lesson About Cuing
by Author X
Bad ideas usually come to me pretty early in the morning. You could say, in fact, that I'm the king of bad ideas. With this in mind, I suppose it would be fair to think of my propensity for early morning thought to be something of a protection mechanism, as it's usually difficult to act on much of anything at 3 in the morning.
However one day it was with some decidedly questionable motives that I got it in my head to procure for myself a TV. Not just any TV, mind you. Not a large TV. Not even a big screen. I think 60 inches is just too small. No, I wanted the full monte, 120 inches of theatrical loveliness. Yes kids, it was time to invest in a video projector.
However these aren't just your run of the mill Sears catalog items, needless to say. They are in fact, quite the rare beast--even in this modern era of circuitry and comeuppance. But oh, how I wanted one. I hate the movie theater, you see. The flickering, the bright light, the abysmal sound system cranked to the inhuman +12 on the dial. And the patrons. Oh how I loathe the movie theater patrons. But that's for another day, and another tale.
So here I was, ready to bring the Big Screen into my own Small Living Room, and without any clue as to how exactly to do it. As I said, I couldn't just go down to the local Best Buy or Costco and pick myself up one of the stacked boxes of pre-packaged retail bliss. These are boutique items, despite their reasonably low cost (less than a true "big box" big-screen TV would set you back).
It was with this quandary that I set out to TRV my TV. After all, it's the perfect tool for finding out the answers to questions that defy all other means. Especially when I wasn't even quite sure what the question was.
So, I crafted a cue with the best of my limited cue-crafting experience. "(Me)/Optimum Video Projector/Next 60 Days". I did put my real name in...