According to Karim bin Bujang (2008), one of the most important concepts in Malay wedding is "the more the merrier". Every relative, acquaintance, colleague or business partner could be invited to a wedding. If the village is not large, then the whole village folks are invited to the wedding. A delightful traditional Malay wedding involves nearly everyone in the village and is elaborate.
The Malay traditional wedding institution holds a very sacred position in Malay society. The activities that take place during a Malay wedding come from the diverse cultural traditions indigenous Hindu and Islamic that have together served to shape traditional Malay culture. For the Malays, there are certain preliminaries or events which must happen before the wedding bells chime such as we can hear the melodious beat of the kompang[4] and before the wedded couple can sit regally on the pelamin.
Activities which precede the actual wedding ceremony consist of four stages. First is spying (merisik). When it is time for a young man to get married his family will look around to identify a number of potential candidates. Having decided upon one particular young lady, then, the merisik of investigation process takes place. For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the young man’s family will pay a friendly visit to the family of the young woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation. The merisik does not constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously about the possibility or otherwise of the union. It is possible that no progress may take place, and the young man’s parents or representatives will then look for another possible candidate.
Then it is followed by the engagement or betrorhal (pertunangan). Betrothal is the pre-wedding meeting between the bride's and the groom's parents will determine the dowry that is to be given to the bride as well as...