Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg
Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg A Judd Apatow Joint
November 28, 2006
PINEAPPLE EXPRESS EXT. FARMLAND - DAWN IN BLACK AND WHITE, A black 1930s Cadillac speeds down the only visible road amidst endless plains of farmland. The road curves sharply ahead - the car accelerates. Ignoring the turn, the Caddy drives directly off the road and through a massive field of emptiness. The car abruptly stops in the middle of the vacant field. GENERAL BRAT (58, a patch covers one of his eyes) and AGENT BLACK SUIT (an agent in a black suit) step out of the car. Although there is clearly nothing in sight for miles, the General scans his surroundings with concern. TITLE CARD UP: THE PAST Agent Black Suit crouches down and pulls open a METAL HATCH in the ground. Both men walk down the hatch and into the earth. INT. UNDERGROUND FACILITY - MOMENTS LATER They descend a metal staircase and walk with great urgency down a narrow corridor. The hallway spills into a hauntingly huge metal room with a lone SCIENTIST standing in the middle. The Scientist immediately begins leading them across the room. GENERAL BRAT When did it start? SCIENTIST At 05:00. We’re seven minutes in. INT. OBSERVATION LAB - CONTINUOUS The three men enter a large room divided by a one-way mirror. On their side, numerous SCIENTISTS, utilizing several archaic devices, are busy at work monitoring the subject on the other side of the mirror. The subject: PRIVATE MILLER (22, naive and dutiful) sits at a small table with a microphone on it. Miller raises his hand, REVEALING a smoldering JOINT. * *
He takes a long and awkward hit from the joint and bursts into a coughing fit. The scientists begin to scribble profusely as their devices blink manically. General Brat and Agent Black Suit exchange a concerned look. The General lights a cigarette as the Scientist steps up to a small microphone in the corner....