Among the things which I desire for, in my life, accepting myself is the most difficult for me. It may sound crazy, but yes even when I whine and cry about people in my life for their hatred towards me, I don’t blame them at all. 'cause I know why do they hate me? They hate me, bcause I hate myself and it shows in my every action, I guess. I hate myself to the extent that becomes unbearable for me. I hate myself, my every aspect, my every action, my every thought, my each and every breath.. Yes, I do hate myself that hatred becomes loathing. I know well, that if I could just stop hating myself, there are chances that people will stop doing that too. It’s like knowing the cure of your disease that's sucking your life, but still you can't take that. You just can't. It's very frustrating. But you can’t do anything about it…. I don't know how to walk without tripping or falling. I don't know how to talk; I just spew venom these days. My tongue has turned acidic, I don't talk I shout. My every word is a curse, nowdays. Another thing, I don’t know when to talk and 'what' to talk. I just bluff and talk endlessly without knowing my words. I don't know how to something right, I try but I end up messing everything, moreover I destroy everything. I destroy, smash, destruct, kill and diminish other people's hopes, dreams, future, past and present. In short, I end their life completely. I am selfish, about think about myself, my tears, my pain, my ache in heart; not about others. I'm materialistic and money-minded. I think about profit and loss. I am so full of poison that whenever I get the chance I gift it to others. I hurt people. A lot. More often than anyone can imagine. I am ugly and when I cry I become uglier, my nose, my face, my eyes all become angry red. Just like a monkey. No, I can't be an animal, certainly not human. I'm a shit! I hate it when someone hates me and I hate it more when someone does (no one loves me, it’s just a replacement of 'like' as using...