“What does not kill me”
I remember the first time my ex-husband was physically abusive with me. I was eight months pregnant with his child, and Aaron was drunk again. We were arguing yet again over something inconsequential. In my emotional state, I said something that infuriated my husband. I looked my husband “dead in the eye” and proclaimed, “Aaron I am not asking your permission, and I can make up my own mind.” I saw the fire in his eyes as he spouted off a very demeaning expletive. I was appalled; I could not believe what I was hearing. Had he really said that to me in front of my three year old daughter?
I reacted impetuously, I threw a stuffed animal at his chest, and before I knew what was happening….Wham! He had grabbed a plastic toy, and thrown it directly at my face. He was standing a mere four feet away from me when he threw it. I turned my head and put my hands up in defense. The toy struck my left eyebrow and eye directly. I could feel the burning of the cut increase as my eye rapidly swelled. I ran to our bedroom, locked the door, and hid in the bathroom. I fell to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably. I lay there on the ground in a daze and secretly wished he would come and comfort me.
He never bothered to see if I was alright. I stood up, and looked into the mirror. I realized that I could not hide in there forever. The reflection of a woman with a blackening eye stared back at me; I took a deep breath and turned to unlock the bathroom door. It was time to leave my hiding place and face him. I found him in the living room, nonchalantly watching a program about poker on the television. He looked at me as if he didn’t understand why I was crying. I was dumbfounded. I pointed to my swollen eye and just glared at him. He then apologized over and over and assured me that it would never happen again. The alcohol on his breath nauseated me as he put his arms around my body and tried to consol me. I stood there in his arms, crying and confused. I...