Who needs a doctor?
By Gretel Guerrero
I do not know. I had my annual medical check up done last week in one of the best hospitals in the city. Moreover, the results were not as comforting as to the previous ones. A high-resolution global sonogram of my breasts was taken and it showed impression of bilateral fibrocystic change with dominant cysts. My Chest P.A. showed negative chest but there is scoliosis of the thoracic spine with convexity to the right. My blood chemistry in comparison with the normal values showed very high in cholesterol. My hematology test showed high in eosinophils while low in lymphocytes and monocytes.
Is it alarming?
I do not know. I keep on delaying a consultation with my doctor. It is not on the top of my schedule nor should I say not even on my list! I had this feeling that things should be better off left undone than done. Quite disturbing, I guess. However, what good can I get after taking those costly tests and leaving the doctor a hundred bucks just to say that I am sick?
Am I sick?
I do not know. What I know for sure is that I am afraid to face the veracity of this matter. Recently, I have been browsing a lot of books and websites. I even managed to stay late at night trying to self diagnose. This simple absurdity will certainly lead me to a complex pitfall. Ah! This is so very pathetic!
Then again, who is most certain?
I do not know. I have doubts. It seems to be true that whenever one finds out that she or he is unwell, grief and sorrow is the endpoint of all endeavors. John Allen Paulos once said, “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”