Dr. Singh: Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, everyone! I'm Dr. Singh, and as you can see, our friend Purvis is back for another guest appearance... I'm not quite sure he's permanent sidekick material, but he did a great job last time. Welcome back, Purvis!
Purvis: Got mah wheelbarruh.
Dr. Singh: Yes, Purvis, that might come in handy for some reason. Thank you. Well, we've got some big news today: a brand new item! The Nano-C was recently recovered from an abandoned high-tech installation... goodness knows who built it or what happened to them, but I'd be awfully careful with their technology. It may be dangerous! Right now, it appears to be some kind of a wristband... I'm more of a natural scientist than a technology expert, but I'd advise you not to go around pointing it at people.
Purvis: Haw! Pointin' stuff at folks.
Dr. Singh: That wasn't really a joke, but yeah. If you like living dangerously, you can pick up a first-generation Nano-C now in the Gaia Cash Shop. Remember, guys: first-generation items get all the newest evolutions first, and they're a great marketplace investment. Now's the time to get in on the ground floor!
Purvis: I gotta have my boudoir on the ground floor on account of I cloomb out'n the winduh in my sleep one time and bust my head open like a canterlope, and Pa had to stitch 'er back together with bailin' wire.
Dr. Singh: Wow, that's... uh. In similarly graphic news, the long-awaited final evolution of the Death Whisper has finally arrived! The long and horrifying journey of the creepiest item in Gaia's history has finally reached its grisly climax with a truly fiendish new set of poses. Isn't this thing scary, Purvis?
Purvis: I ain't afear'd of nothin'. 'Cept giant skellertons.
Dr. Singh: Don't forget: this means you only have a limited amount of time left to buy the Death Whisper before it leaves the Cash Shop! A couple of other recently-completed items will be leaving very soon, too: Padmavati's Lotus and...