‘Cabin Fever’
2 September 2008
Rick
Haiku
Pile
Old Man
Opera woman
Room mate
(RICK is seated at a desk. He is looking over a wad of papers.)
RICK
Piece of cake. I get these things down, I pass the final. Not that hard. Its just a few sixty seven questions... Okay item one of the study guide- Recite Lord of the Rings from memory. Chapter one ‘of the beginning of days’ It is told among the wise that the first war began before arda was full-shaped, and ere yet there was anything that grew or walked upon the earth; and for long Melkor had the upper hand. But in the mist of the war a spirt of.... oh crap wait... That’s the Silmarilion! I’ve memorized the wrong book! Man. I’m never going to pass this math class now.
HAIKU
Oh. Fear not young one. You have inner strength you know not about.
RICK
Who said that?
HAIKU
I say that.
RICK
Who are you? (Looking around) Where are you?
HAIKU
I voice in head.
PILE
Now Haiku quite scaring the boy like that, he has enough trouble.
OPERA WOMAN
The boy needs to know about his current situation.
RICK
What is going on?
HAIKU
You stress too much.
PILE
You’re going a little batty. See you live in Fayette. There ain’t nothing to do around here.
RICK
What? I can’t be hearing voices!
OPERA WOMAN
At least you’re stuck listening to us. You could be stuck with Ken Oliver in your head.
PILE
You see. You’ve been stuck in this room for days studying.
HAIKU
You have cabin fever.
RICK
Cabin Fever isn’t really, its just some terrible movie!
HAIKU
No
PILE
Cabin Fever according to American Heritage is ‘Boredom, restlessness, or irritability that results from a lack of environmental stimulation, as from a prolonged stay in a remote, sparsely populated region or a confined indoor area.’ So if you want to quite hearing us, you’ll have to find some more...