A single dark, sinister, evil intentioned man out to fulfill his personal agenda can no doubt sow uncertainty and insecurities in many people’s lives; I am fighting for my life, no time to sympathize for others. Uncertainty of a higher power striking you dead through lightning bolts Zeus himself would envy; I have sinned today. Insecurities that have you double guessing every intention you and others have, do, and say; my best friend couldn’t last and greets the noose with a neck. Rational thoughts are attacked by episodes of a schizophrenic nature; maybe an institution is safer. Worldly soil cannot produce a place of solace and you dream of a day when a seventh-dimension portal materializes and embraces you tightly; for me, that was once a welcomed death.
Growing up was a world filled with landmines. These “landmines” are physical and emotional moments of abuse. Seeking out a road map to aide in safely navigating this massive world of a minefield was never a good idea. All roads led back to procuring, through no choice of my own, more “blocks” of abuse. The format of how my life has been shaped can be best put into an analogy of a child playing with rudimentary blocks who is stacking these blocks into a precariously positioned tower. Your everyday “normal” way of life has a way of knocking over this tower in which you use the experience to build a better, more stable platform to build on. My stack was built on a mountain side of molten lava that was always slowly shifting causing my hay filled, kerosene doused blocks to be cast into the magma. The lava would set fire to my life instantly with every encounter I had with “him.” I would say, “…pick it all back up and move on…” and would soon after start the rebuilding process on sifting piles of ash. The result is a foundation of mutated, mangled thoughts and memories, clinging to the sagging burned flesh of your limbs. Those memories shrieked with terror and pain while reaching out for the ground, pleading...