janey

janey

*Janey is in a garden watching the stars in the sky. She becomes upset when someone approaches*
I was hoping I could be alone out here in the garden. No one ever comes here in the evening. I wanted to be here for the stars. I don’t want anything and I don’t want to talk to anymore. That’s all you’ve done here – poke, prod, and pry. I've never felt so violated before Can I please be myself? I just want to be left alone.
I don’t like being around anyone, I get upset when I’m in a room full of people. I get really scared - I almost feel like I can’t breathe. I just need to be alone Doctor. I know you don’t really care; you’re simply doing your job. Once I'm “better” you’ll be through with me then it’s onto another patient. You’re just like everyone else. You probably haven’t cared about any patent in years – that would be unprofessional. Please, just go. I know what I need better than you. You’re not God you know. You don’t have the powers to cure everything.
I thought you were leaving? Sorry, but I’m busy. I’m killing weeds – cultivating beauty by killing the ugly. In reality its weeds on which the soil feeds but few people find the truth fulfilling. If only you had planted something more useful – beans or tomatoes, then the sacrifice might have been worthwhile. But flowers they’re more difficult to justify –frail beauty- that’s all they are. They have very little nutritional value. In the end they never can satisfy, always disappointment as they wither away and die.
No one really cares, do they? They pay you to care even though people should only be fixed when they’re broken. Nothing was wrong with me before you found me, I was happy at home, alone, shut out from the world, I was protected.
I’m never alone there’s always someone or something around me, following me. They’re always near, spirits, ghosts, shadows of the past – ghosts have always been with me. Not by choice at least not on my part, it just happens. I don’t want to believe in their presence...