Knick Knack Paddy
Wack
LUKE:
Charles…hey, how are ya buddy…listen, ummm. I gotta say this low cause, I don’t want any neighbors to hear this. I don’t know how you’re gonna react to this but, and if you don’t want to…that’s alright. All I ask of ya is to just stay quiet about what I’m about to ask ya. Okay?
…Here’s the thing…my wife’s birthday is coming up. Right? So, look, she’s expressed an interest in you. What started out as hints, became borderline obsessive. Now, I don’t mean to freak you out or nothin’ okay. I know this may come across as weird but listen, I want to make my wife happy.
When her and I first got married, I cheated on her and ever since then I’ve always felt like I owed her. Now, here you are, a good looking young guy, single…having the time of his life…my wife is a beautiful woman, you agree?
Okay, that’s good. Good. Listen Charlie, my wife wanted me to come over here to ask you if you would sleep with her on her birthday. Now I know, I know this sounds crazy, I never thought in a million years I’d be asking another guy to boink my wife but God works in funny ways apparently and WELL, here we are. Plus, for your troubles, an all expense paid trip to wherever you want to go, courtesy of my business.
What do you say? Would you be interested in boning my wife? You know, a little knick knack, paddy wack.