Well, I was watching daytime TV again... that's never a good idea but whatever, I was bored and it was kinda cold outside.
Anyway, there was a talk show on discussing open relationships and it really made me start thinking! Most of my adolescent life I told myself I didn't want to get married because I would only end up getting hurt. People cheat! It seems almost as natural as breathing. But then people get hurt. I don't want to be another statistic. And I absolutely will not tolerate being played for a fool.
I want that fantasy wedding I've been dreaming about since I was a little girl. I want to feel that spark and not be afraid to fuel the fire! I want to love and be loved... I want to fulfill and be fulfilled. I want to be a housewife that clooks and cleans for her family. I want to be a soccer mom. I want to have that "OMG I'M SOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!" feeling when the love of my life comes walking through that door, or when my children are walking out of school to come home to their family. I want them to feel the same way.
Maybe it was the way I grew up, being in an abusive family. I feel like it is my duty on this earth to produce productive members of society. I want to be the proud wife of a lawyer, docter, engineer, or maybe even a military man. I want to be the proud mommy of the same. I want happiness...
I never realized how lucky I was in that my parents, though quite demented, always told me they didn't care what I did, as long as I was happy. It didn't matter if I was a cardiac surgeon, or the drive thru guy at McDonald's. I'll be happy raising a family in comfort. I don't need to be wealthy. I just want to be rich in love.
That's why I am considering the idea of open relationships.
If I go into a relationship informing and being informed that there may be others; knowing the others and forming family-like relations with them as well, would it be as easy to get hurt? It's only human to get jealous, but the foundation of any relationship is...