Planes, Trains, and Plantains
The story of Oedipus.
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A man can only justify his actions if he regards his demeanor with
deductive thinking. This man was not Oedipus, mainly because he was a
fucking douche bag. One must know who Oedipus was to understand the
period in which it was written. This is my thesis statement. The
Greeks contributed many things to our culture, such as olives, gyros,
Lenny Kravitz, anal sex, and Oedipus. Oedipus will be remembered
though out time because he suffered from Lou Gehrig's disease, and
that's why he couldn't play baseball in the first Olympic games. He
will always be remembered for his journeys and his love for the New
York Yankees.
1821, Associated Press
Lou Gehrig is smiling because He got daily rim jobs from the girls at Scores.
Laius and Jocasta were king and queen of Thebes, a town in Greece.
They were fucking around and Laius forgot to strap his shit. One day
they had a baby boy. An oracle prophesied that the boy would grow up
and kill his father and marry his mother. Laius was like fuck that
shit, that's gay. To thwart the prophecy, Laius and Jocasta decided
to kill their baby. They fingered his butt hole and sent him on his
way. In those days, it was usual to leave an unwanted or defective
baby in the wilderness. laius and Jocasta did this. To be
extra-sure, they pierced his little feet and tied them together.
(Don't worry about this detail, which makes no sense. It must have
been introduced to explain the hero's name.) A kindly shepherd found
the baby in a pool skimmer. He gave the baby to a friend, who took it
to Corinth, another town. (Corinth reappears in the New Testament.
Under the category of DVDA, versus 63). The king and queen of Corinth
couldn't have a baby of their own. The king has a bad case of the
limp dick. So they adopted the foundling. Nobody every told little
Oedipus that his mother was never pregnant. She...