Low Self Worth
1. IB: I worked very hard to overcome his irresponsibility, but it was ‘never good enough’. I am ashamed that my life and relationship is in a mess and I am responsible for it to fail. I think I did not do enough to keep up to it.
RB: I would have preferred things getting better considering the efforts I put in. But one may not get everything in life. The emotional disturbance is caused largely by the view I take of the events. I can learn from the past experiences, while not being overly attached or unrelentingly influenced by them. I can make a conscious choice today.
2. IB: I am totally responsible for virtually everything that happened to my child. Whatever happened was not fair. I have not been a good mom.
RB: While one endeavours to be a perfect parent, but parents are not infallible and may make mistakes in raising children. That does not make them bad parents and they do not deserve to be condemned and punished for their fallibilities. I accept whatever might have happened in the past, I shall learn from it and improve myself.
3. IB: I prefer others to be straightforward with me, but I’m afraid that if I am open with others and say “no” I will hurt them. Also if I am assertive others see me as too aggressive and if I am non-aggressive, others see me as "too weak."
RB: Other people may or may not feel hurt. If I prefer to be dealt with directly, it is quite likely others will too. Even if others are hurt by my assertive behavior, I can let them know I care for them while also being direct about what I need or want. I am not responsible for anyone’s’ feelings but my own. I should not feel vulnerable to others moods.
4. IB: Past or present adversity is so unpleasant and awful that my child will find it difficult to come to terms with the current situation. It is affecting and coming in the way to live normally; an amendment for this adversity needs to follow. I could have done something better for him.
RB: Life comes in...