Step 1: Start with two slices of delicious whole grain bread. Not whole wheat or white bread! Those are not good for you. They have no significant amount of natural fiber and are less filling, making you crave more bread than necessary for a delicious sandwich. Also, white bread causes Appendicitis in humans and that is both a painful and expensive thing to deal with.
Step 2: Grab a light Ranch dressing (or regular Ranch if you're feeling a bit crazy) and put one dab in the middle of each piece of bread. This dab should be no bigger than a nickel, but make sure it's big enough to spread evenly along the surface of the slice. Now spread it along the surface of the slices until there are no more lumps (i.e. fill in the little holes).**
**WARNING: IF YOU PUT TOO MUCH RANCH ON THE BREAD IT WILL SEEP THROUGH CREATING A NASTY, SOGGY MESS. THIS WILL EFFECTIVELY RUIN YOUR "FREDDIE'S TUNA CLASSIC (inspired by my cousin Josh)" EXPERIENCE AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS! ALL COSTS!
Step 3: Fetch a delicious Gala Apple of medium size. I choose Gala because it tastes the best, but other inferior species may work as well depending on your taste buds (which are likely inferior to mine if they prefer other apple species). Take a sharp knife (makes it easier) and begin to slice the apple from the side like a squash. Make the slices about 2-3 millimeters thick (thick enough to taste but no so thick to weigh down your delicious sandwich). Pick your four or five biggest and best slices and place them on one slice of bread; spread them out to cover the slice.
Optional Step 3b: Eat the rest of the apple. It is good for you if you washed it. If you didn't wash it, get a new apple, wash it, and repeat steps 3 and 3b. To remind you to do this in the future, Google what happens when you don't wash your apples or click this handy link:
http://nutrition.about.com/od/ahealthykitchen/a/washveggies.htm
Step 4: Get some tuna. I prefer Starkist Chunk Light Tuna because it...