To Be a Man
To be a man in today’s American society means finding a balance between success and family values while diminishing the impact of everyday trials such as rage and lust with intermittent triumphs. Modern America has placed earmarks on occupational success. These earmarks are those such as obtaining a college degree and landing a six-figure salary. The consequence for not reaching those earmarks are great and can affect a man in many ways, most of which compromise the way he acts around or treats his family. The fear of being looked down upon or being viewed as a societal failure is the driving force for success in the workplace. Ironically, being a societal failure includes marital failure, financial failure, and emotional instability which can be caused by the stress of not reaching the earmarks for occupational success. Once a man’s ego begins to bruise from failure in the workplace, his emotional stability and marriage begin to feel the strain. This then causes even more damage to his ego, escalating the existing emotional instability and therefore creating feelings of rage. This may also cause him to seek affirmation by those outside his family resulting in lustful thoughts. All of these things pile on top of the hidden fact that the numbers his bank account might not reflect the occupational success he desires, and soon his life seems to be spiraling out of control. Without intermittent feelings of success or triumph, such as a confident or supportive word or act from his wife, he quickly begins to feel like he has failed at the so-called “American dream.” This means he has not only let down America by not living up to its standards, he has also let down his family and therefore himself. When looked at through man’s eyes, I can imagine that obtaining society’s version of success is the definition of a man.
In Angier’s essay she writes that “ men don’t want to ‘fail,’ and the feeling of failure may happen when a man feels the pressure...