Rudyjoe
“I could not understand why”
My mother’s body was changing! She was getting fat and everyone in the family was getting excited. I could not really understand why. I was only three years old and I felt that something was going to affect my life in many ways. From the time I knew my mom was pregnant with my baby sister, and up to most of my childhood years I was jealous, afraid, and felt neglected.
When my mother was in her last three months of pregnancy, Guam experienced a series of typhoons. I was scared because my mother kept on going to the hospital and every time she kept going there I felt very afraid. I did not know what to expect. I was also afraid because I was very close to my mother. Another reason why I was feeling afraid was because I did not really know much, and did not really know what was going on. Whenever the typhoons struck Guam my mother was in the hospital and I was left with only my father, my grandmother and brothers in the house. I was worried for my mother.
I was also scared of my mother having my baby sister, because I felt that my baby sister would take my mom’s love away from me. I also, at the time, always wanted to be with my mother, and I cried every time she needed to go to the hospital. I was afraid of what was growing inside my mother’s womb.
When my baby sister finally came out I saw how tiny she was and how soft and fragile her body was. She was a bit cute. Then as she started to grow up I started to feel a sense of jealousy of her. I was jealous because I was only three years older than her and people were always giving her more attention. It was like that through out my childhood years. My baby sister and I would fight and my parents would take her side more because she was younger.
Also at the same time I felt neglected by everyone. Everything bad was happening to me. I felt neglected by my uncles, aunties, and especially my cousins who were all giving more attention to my baby sister. I felt like...