IT & Buttitch
Episode 1: Where are my parents?
Scene 1
IT is walking down the road looking somber. IT meets up with Buttitch.
Buttitch
IT… like… what’s wrong?
IT
Hey Buttitch… It nothing.
Buttitch
Like, come on. We are, like, best friends. What’s wrong?
IT
It just… I know not who my parents are. I am orphan.
Buttitch
But this has, like, never, like, bothered you before. Like, why now?
IT
People keep asking if I am girl or if I am boy. I know not how to answer.
Buttitch
Wait… like, what? You don’t know if you are, like, a girl or boy?
IT
I know not. That why I need find my parents. To ask if I am girl or boy.
Buttitch
But… like… can’t you like… tell yourself?
IT
Tell myself what?
Buttitch
If you are, like, a girl or a boy…? Can’t you, like, tell?
IT
How do I tell?
Buttitch
Let’s, like, find your parents.
Scene 2
IT and Buttitch are looking through phone books.
Buttitch
What’s, like, your last name?
IT
T
Buttitch
No, like, your full last name. Not your, like, initial.
IT
I tell you. T. My first name I and my last name T. That why my name IT.
Buttitch
(blank stare)
Well… let’s like, start at the T’s I guess…
IT
Oh gee, good idea. (Flips pages)
Buttitch
But, like, where were you looking before? Didn’t you know your own last name?
IT
I was look under P for parents.
Buttitch
(blank stare)
They keep searching for IT’s parents. (FFW mode).
Buttitch
I, like, found someone with the last name T!
IT
Who? Who! My dad? What his name? What his name? Where he live?
Buttitch
Like… his name is Ho…?
IT
Yes, yes. That make sense! It mean his full name is HOT. You see? H.O.T. That probably where I get my good looks from. Where he live?
Buttitch
It says he, like, lives at the County Jail.
IT
Ooh that sound like nice neighborhood!
Buttitch
Like… yeah…
IT
So we visit him, yes?
Buttitch
Um… like sure.
At the County Jail.
Guard
Your name and...