Autism essay

Autism essay

  • Submitted By: Meo7888
  • Date Submitted: 04/25/2013 7:48 PM
  • Category: English
  • Words: 647
  • Page: 3
  • Views: 1

Your thesis statement is OK. My only issue is, what is your actual essay about? Is it about understanding autism? If so I would put that earlier in my statement, because as it is, it seems like a tag along.

Lets take your statement apart:
1. Autism is a disability that affects how someone communicates and interacts with others. 2. The disability results from problems in the nervous system, which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and a network of nerves that allow us to think, move, and sense everything around us
3. To understand Autism, we need to understand the symptoms, treatments, and what it is like to live with it.

Which of those statements doesn't really fit with the other two? I leaves me wondering what you are going to really talk about. Is it understand autism? If it is on understanding autism, that statement should come first. If it about identifying the components and the research or causal factors, you may want to leave #3 out. Are you going to expound all three in the following paragraphs?

Here is another possibility if understanding autism is your theme:
Due to the staggering rise in the number of children who are identified as autistic, it is important that all members of the community understand the affects of autism. Knowing the causes, symptoms and possible treatments of autism will assist parents and community members in early identification of autistic children, earlier intervention and better acceptance of people with Autism Syndrome Disorder.

Paragraph 1 - Autism is a disability that affects how someone communicates and interacts with others as well ad the digestive and sensory systems. Because people with autism have severe problems understanding language and being to express their needs, they frequently have acting out behaviors as a result. In addition, one or more of their senses may be severely affected because they cannot screen out some input and it may even cause them pain, which again can result in self...

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