After reading the email I would encourage my manager to change the whole message as it is unprofessional and needs quite a bit of tweaking to make right. Of course I would do this in a polite and respectful manor.
In the first sentence the boss says that he/she “welcomes you ASAP to our little family here in the States.” First this statement is unprofessional and is not audience centered. It sounds as if the manager is talking to a first grader not only in this sentence but throughout the whole email. Second you don’t welcome someone ASAP, you just welcome them, short and to the point. Thirdly I wouldn’t refer to a place of business as a little family, again unprofessional and could come across wrong to someone from a different cultural background. The second sentence is just flat out unnecessary and seems as if the manager is fishing for something unique to say and completely blew it. In the third sentence the manager uses the term “pleased as punch” again this comment is unprofessional and could be misunderstood or in some cases not understood at all. I also don’t like how he is trying to sell the new people from Hong Kong on America, that is for them to decide. It is the managers duty to make them feel at home in the work environment and to make them aware of their duties and obligation to the company.
I don’t consider this message to be audience centered, it sounds as if it is geared for a first grader. The vocabulary is very limited and there are references and terminology that other cultures may not understand. When writing one has to consider the degree of knowledge the audience has and must also use proper language and in this case be aware of multicultural perceptions. It is very easy to get confused when speaking or listening to the English language as various words mean various things depending on what part of the country you are from. The English language also contains many homonyms such as the word used in the email, punch. This word to most that...