First Red Dwarf-American Pilot
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[Opening shot: a starfield. Words begin to scroll into space, but
accellerate to unreadable speeds before slowing down again at the end.]
RED DWARF
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THE STORY SO FAR...
BY THE LATTER HALF
OF THE TWENTY-SECOND
CENTURY, HUGE SPACE
CRUISERS POWERED BY
HYDROGEN RAM-JET
ENGINES HAD COLONIZED
THE OUTER FRINGES OF
OUR SOLOR SYSTEM.
HUMAN KIND WAS
POISED TO EXPLORE
THE DARK MYSTERIES
OF DEEP SPACE.
WE WISH WE COULD
HAVE TOLD YOU
STORIES ABOUT THESE
BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN,
BUT WE COULDN'T
AFFORD IT. INSTEAD,
WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
IS THIS.
THIS IS THE STORY OF
A BEAT-UP OLD
MINING SHIP WHICH
AMBLES BETWEEN EARTH
AND THE MOONS OF
SATURN, TRANSPORTING
RAW MATERIALS WHICH
ARE BADLY NEEDED BY
SOMEONE.
IS IT JUST ME, OR
DOES THIS SOUND
REALLY TEDIUS?...