50 First Dates
Year: 2004
Director: Peter Segal
Rating: PG-13
Communication Concepts:
Relationship Formation
Relational Stages
Henry Roth (Adam Sadler) is a confirmed bachelor when he meets Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore). They hit it off and plan to meet again the next day. When they do, Lucy has no idea who Henry is. It turns out that Lucy suffered a head injury years ago that causes her, as she sleeps at night, to forget everything that's happened since the accident.
Henry gets a unique lesson in how and why we form relationships as he meets Lucy each day, from her perspective always for the first time. For example, he tries the strategy of emphasizing their similarities by demonstrating that he, like Lucy, is interested in making little houses out of waffles (she is unimpressed and rejects him). In another scene, Henry tries to connect with Lucy through disclosure by confessing that he's illiterate (which he's not, but she's moved by the attempt). Henry also uses complementarity to attempt to attract Lucy. Knowing she's a strong person, he pretends to be weak by having a friend mug him so Lucy can save him. When he learns about her fondness for lilies, he tries rewards by bringing her a large bouquet of the flowers.
While Henry gets the chance to work on his ability to attract Lucy day after day, the asymmetry between their experiences presents a problem. For Lucy, each day involves the initiating and experimenting stages of relational development. Henry is soon ready for the intensifying stage and beyond. To solve the problem, Henry creates videotapes for Lucy to watch first thing each morning to catch her up on the relationship. This allows them to begin each day at the intensifying stage, providing the opportunity to move on toward integrating.
To see whether Henry and Lucy overcome their perpetual challenges and move on to bonding, you will need to see the film. But even without knowing the conclusion, 50 First Dates shows what it would...