Proctor and his Conscious
John Proctor was a husband, a farmer, and village commoner. All of this was represented by his name. The name of John Proctor could be considered his priceless asset. This is understandable because reputation was tremendously important in Salem, where public and private moralities were one and the same. However, throughout the play, Proctor also suffered from incredible inner turmoil, which may have led to his decision to die at the end. Was his decision an act of excessive pride or honor?
Early on in the play, Proctor had an affair with Abigail Williams, while she was working in his home. Proctor believed that his affair with Abigail irreparably damaged him in the eyes of god, his wife Elizabeth, and himself. Although, he did succumb to sin and commit adultery; Proctor lacked the capacity to forgive himself. He resented his wife Elizabeth because she could not forgive him and trust him again. His own inability to forgive himself just intensified his reactions to Elizabeth’s lack of forgiveness. In addition to the struggle of his sin, the fact that he eventually had revealed his shameful act to his wife, further tormented Proctor. His best possession was his prized name because of the respect and integrity, associated with it and he did not want to lose it. Once he had acknowledged his affair with Abigail, Proctor effectively branded himself as an adulterer, and lost the value of his name in his own eyes. He dreaded from having to reveal his sin; overwhelmed with guilt, and filled with regret. Moreover, he believed that a public display of wrongdoing would only intensify the extent of his sin; therefore, it multiplied the guilt. It was the desire to preserve his name, so Proctor chose not to testify against Abigail during the trials. Although he knew it was the right thing to do, he did not want to embarrass his beloved wife by exposing his affair in public. This is why he was willing to die at the end of the play. Proctor felt that...