Resolving Conflict
Is it my problem? If not, set boundaries.
Seek the best solution.
Setting goals, asking for help, gathering information, taking an action, or letting go.
Don’t react. Solve the problem. Focus on the solution.
Positive Attitude.
I will not point to my problems to prove how awful my life is.
My Problems
Loneliness
Poor self-image
Lack of friends
Conversations in my head
Our Problems
Care of the Home
Yard—I want to go in my backyard and ENJOY it
• Needs to be maintained; do we need a yardman to keep the peace?
• Shed is in continuous disarray with unnecessary things
• Equipment needs to stay in working order if we are to do yard work
• Who will do the yard? Who will pick up dog poop?
Dogs
• Hate Winston. Will put up with him, maybe.
• Dog poop, brushing Astro, dogs allowed on all furniture?
TV and Such
• Can we make some kind of agreement on quiet time with no TV?
• If I don’t want to watch what you are watching, can I close the door and do what I want?
• I want to have my own space where I can watch my own TV and go on the computer; it should be my space and if I am in it, let me have my space.
Chores and Such
• How do we agree on chores if I come back?
• Laundry in the laundry room for days
• Clothes on the floor and picking up socks
• I am better at some things and vice versa; will you do your share so that I don’t feel like I’m the martyr
• How will you remember the chores? Or the things you say you will do?
• Cleaning up after ourselves (kitchen, bathroom, etc)
• Weekend chores: minimum “to do” list
• Concern—we will just go back to the same patterns
Relationship
• Sleeping arrangement—what if we really can’t function sleeping together; what to do?
• Is my working the weekend a problem? Or does it give you your space?
• Need weekends to plan short trips
• Need weekly dates not involving...