Excuse me?
I’m still hoping that what just happened was a very, very, awfully vivid dream.
There I was, minding my own business. I was just simply sitting in the park, enjoying the fresh day given to us. Then all of a sudden, here comes Rico Suave. He struts over effortlessly in my direction, with this peculiar look on his face; almost resembling the look a little young child would have once he figures out how to work both his mother and father.
When this older stranger firsts starts pouring his heart out, it intrigues me. He talks passionately about time and the idea of us, how he would love me ten years before the Flood, and how his love for me grows like a vegetable garden. How flattered was I, being admired by an older gentleman! Then he absolutely pulls on my heart strings by telling me he could spend 100 years simply on my eyes. He must have really liked me to notice something as special as my eyes. But just as I was getting the warm, butter melting feeling in my stomach, out came the words. “Two hundred [years] to adore each breast”. Seriously? He would spend two hundred years on my breasts? Clearly, he has time to kill, but I am not killing mine on him.
Since his last big attempt to win my heart, it has only grown worse from there. He started getting a lot more serious. His words carried a faint undertone of eagerness, almost disturbing to a point. He told me things, which no matter how they could have been worded, only turned me off more. Out of his mouth came the eight biggest words, which created the one biggest nightmare. “Then worms shall try, that long preserved virginity.” EW! That’s right. He just told me worms will come after me and my virtue when I’ve passed on. Was he hinting I should hand it over now, before it’s too late? I’m not sure what he’s hinting at, but I knew that at that point, I shut off my brain and refused to continue listening.
Really! Who just comes into the forest these days, asking for a young girl’s...