Wow! I can’t believe you would think that.
“I-Language” steps are to listen and don’t interrupt. Use “I” and not “You”. Refer to the behavior not to the person. State how the behavior affects you ask yourself how does this behavior affect me or make me feel? State what you need to happen. State that there is a consequence to their actions.
The purpose of “I-Language” is a way of communicating about a problem to another person without accusing them of being the cause of the problem.
“I-Language” gives our partner information about us, and they do it in a way that’s far less threatening.
One afternoon my friend showed up at work and accused me of lying about blocking her on my face book account. I use to date this person for nine months. I used “I-language” to try and defuse the conflict.
I said to her I feel frustrated when you assume I lie instead of asking me first. Her behavior was rude and inconsiderate. I explained to her that because she blocked me that I am no longer searchable to her and that is the programs default settings. I said to her I never blocked you or anyone. She said so your innocent then? I said yes!
Using “I Language” worked and I was able to stay in control of my emotions. My friend responded with sarcasm and disbelief. This doesn’t surprise me because she doesn’t trust me. If there is ever a next time I would not interact with her at work it just adds stress to my day.
I used “I-Language to try and communicate and work out a problem with another person with out accusing them of being the cause of the problem. My experience was better than if I didn’t use “I-Language” and would of made the conflict a lot worse. I liked using this method and It made me feel in control.