For perspective, Achebe's Igboland is completely male-dominant: partriarchal. Okonkwo is an excellent and by far the most expressive example. He is respected because he is the opposite of his father: strong where Unoka is weak, fearless where Udoka is terrified, more than willing to do what Udoka would not dream of doing, perhaps BECAUSE Udoka would not dream of doing it. Thus, he is rich and the most respected man in Umuofia.
Because of the dominant 'macho' environment, and because of Okonkwo's zealous, almost radical, effort to establish himself in this light (he refuses to show any expression but anger and kills Ikemefuna, whom he loved dearly) he becomes an 'alpha-male' in Umuofia. He is already rich, already strong, but terrified that he will be seen as weak and poor in any light whatsoever. I think, stong as he is, he is only a little boy who hates his father and the conditions Udoka's laziness has subjected him too, and who is forever trying to break away from the sickly shadow.
The way of life in Umuofia shines on the warrior and the fearless only. The spirits favor the strong. This is what the Igbos believe, and so they revere Okonkwo, the epitome of strong and, secretly, Okonkow revels in their worship, which is why he found it within hmself to kill Ikemefuna. Heconvinced himself it was the act of a strong amn, but he was haunted by the truth: in reaity, it is only the heart of a weak man that shivers when a woman laughs. The women would have laughed had Okonkwo not killed his adopted, and he was not strong enough to live with it. In fact, he was terriffied. Ironically, Okonkwo's most favored child was Ezinwa, Ekwefi's sickly daughter; partly because of Ekwefi herself but also because of Ezinwa's weakness. He was strong in Ezinwa's weakness. And yet, he was disgusted (read 'terrified of') by Nwoye's 'weakness' and his dislike of war stories. Again, this shows the vast difference between male and female counterparts in the old Igbo community. The men...