Evolving

Evolving

Diapers, burp cloths, and two a.m. feedings are not things the typical sixteen year old spends much time dealing with. But those things are my daily concerns. I am a teenage mother. I have responsibilities that most people do not face until much later in life. I never in a million years thought it would be me, of all the girls in the school that would get pregnant as a sophomore. I have been very involved in extra-curricular activities since I was in fourth grade. I have cheered every year since this age and have played the clarinet and participated in color guard in concert and marching band. On January 11, 2012, I had to put a halt to all the things I was used to doing my whole life. Even though I miss my old, busy schedule tremendously, I love my new, busy schedule even more! At sixteen, I love every single part of being a mother, teenager or not.
I will never forget when the doctor told me I was going to have a baby. The words “you’re pregnant” never sounded so terrible in my life. Usually when women are told they are expecting they are overjoyed, excited, and anxious. I on the other hand was scared, ashamed, and overwhelmed. Once the shock wore off, I felt the way a majority of people feel, but until then, I had a long couple of months of feeling about as low as the devil. I felt as if I had let my whole family down. No one wants to see their only daughter sixteen and pregnant. Soon to be an only parent to my little girl, I had to mature in many ways that I didn’t even know were possible.
Until she arrived, I was stuck in between my parents and the way they felt and my peers at school and the things they said. My mom and dad handled it better than I expected, but I still felt so guilty for what I had done. After the shock wore off on my mom, the only thing she wanted to do was help and be a part of my pregnancy as much as she could. Now that Elaina is here, I don’t think my daughter could ask for a better Ama. My mom has been the main reason I’m doing...

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