August 27, 2004
Dear Diary,
So begins my Great Perhaps! I can just barely fathom that only a short few hours ago, I was at the goodbye party my parents put together for me, which only two guests, attended. I officially left Florida, to attend the boarding school that my father did for my junior year of high school. The name of the school was Culver Creek which is located in Alabama. Even though my dad had gone to high school there, my real reason for going away to school had nothing to do with my father and everything to do with some words of wisdom from the famous poet, Francois Rabelais. His last words were, “I go to seek a Great Perhaps.” I am going to find a Great Perhaps and I want to find it before I die. Although I was a bit anxious, I walked to room #43 with my parents and fearlessly hugged them goodbye. After they left, I took a shower only to greet my one and only roommate for the whole year…in nothing but a towel. Turns out, my roommate’s name is Chip Martin (also a junior), but prefers to be called the Colonel. A strange thing to be called but I avoided asking questions about it in order to start out on the right foot. Also, he nicknamed me, “Pudge” because he wanted it to be ironic, as I am scrawny and lean. Incredibly, the Colonel has memorized every country there is! He listed all of the countries whose name started with “A” right before I explained that I memorize last words. After reciting Henrik Ibsen’s last words, we went and retrieved his couch from storage and hauled it back to our room under the white-hot sun. Subsequent to the manual labor, we visited the most gorgeous girl on the planet, Alaska Young. Upon our arrival to her room (#48), she beamed at the...