My heart could never ache as much as this again. I'm in a real pain, something I never imagine a girl like me would have to go through it.
There is no one to be blamed except myself. If I were not that coward, if I'm a little braver and if I'm being myself, I might get all his attention. Even before that, I already got his attention. I'm famous in his mind at least.
Well, the only beautiful regret was I could not bring myself to confess to him personally. I knew I were being selfish, enjoying every moments getting used to his presence and so afraid that I have to forget him and move on when he chooses to reject me.
My instincts told me a lot of things. I just dare not accept the reality. Now, I felt all the pains because I am no longer by his side or maybe we just happened to be at the same place and same time a lot of times.
They said, " Both are not fated especially when they are besides each other but never talk nor notice each other's presence"
Afraid to believe that, yet I guess that what really happening between both of us. Sometimes we seem good to each other, at times we acted cold towards each other. Worse, I don't know what he is thinking. Are all guys' mind that complicated? Or was it only him?
I always told myself that I just need to take this as a beautiful regret and all I need to do is just to move on. Looking and sounding amazing in front of friends, I know I could never move on that easily anymore. It may sounded disgusting, gross to describe that kind of feeling, but there is a smell, a feeling that only he has...
Love is not all, I believe. What he needs more is not really love, he needs guidance. He is just too easily being influenced, and if I loved him, I believe I need to let him go. Just be his friend who will be there to guide, support and comfort him. That's more important than making he falling for me.
I choose to let him go, and I know this is not just a regret but a beautiful ones because I know I will always...