The most Important thing in my essay was that I found a way to put my paragraphs together. I was able to give examples of Dwayne and I was also give examples of my self. I am writing this for other students to read and know what other people can do. The reader should already know that both Dwayne and I made a mistake but we learned from it. The subject is worth writing about because it gets you thinking on what your life is compared to a different individual.
I make many specific points in my paragraphs about both Dwayne and I. In order to keep my essay organized I first talked about Dwayne in my body paragraphs and talked about myself afterward. I wrote 3 body paragraphs comparing Dwayne and myself. I talked about them in that order because it was how it happened. What I did to get from one point to the next was using transition words.
My Paragraphs are put in my essay based on time. For example, I put how we both made mistake first, and then I talked about how we changed our ways. All the paragraphs go with each other because it it goes in order. The reader hopefully will not have trouble reading it because I organized it very well. As far as examples, I believe I put in enough for my audience not to be confused but im sure that I could had used more.
Throughout the whole essay I like the sentence at the end when I say that we are both better men now. The readers can see what im saying because I tried to stay away from “awkward” words in my paper.