Most young girls dream about having children someday. I’m willing to bet that more than half of those young girls dream about having their kids when they are much older and ready, and with the right person. I was one of those girls until I found out that I was pregnant. I’m only nineteen years old, and I certainly wasn’t planning on having kids at this age. The struggle and stress that I face everyday is most likely more than a thirty year old woman who hates her job and has a cheating husband. I can admit that the stress, the loneliness, and the thoughts and visions are hard now, but I can find comfort in knowing that in the end it will all be worth it.
Before I found out I was pregnant, I was such a child. All I wanted to do was party and be irresponsible. I’ve never had boundaries, and I’ve never cared. My relationship with my mom was terrible, I was constantly in and out of her house, I didn’t finish school, I wasn’t working, and I had to mooch off of my friends to just survive. That alone caused me more stress and problems imaginable. Now imagine finding out you’re pregnant on top of that. It is the scariest thing in the world for me and I have so much pressure. I have to finish school, find a good job, and learn to accept responsibility. That’s a lot to do in a period of 9 months. Thank God that the positive in all of this is that naturally I think like a mother, and it helped me to grow up and to see life in a whole different perspective.
One of the most difficult things is feeling so lonely, and so different. The father has been doing drugs on and off for way too long, and there is no way I will have that around my kid. I don’t want the help and the support from someone who can’t even help and support his own self. We’re too good for that. I am blessed to say that I have a good support system and a very supportive family (minus my birth mom) who is willing to help. I can’t even picture how lonely I would be if I didn’t have that support.